Christmas is coming

I decided to label my blog the same as the one for my kids. I have been on Christmas vacation all week and I get next week too. I am very excited. I have been baking and cleaning(or at least thinking about cleaning) the house. I made three dozen cookies the other day and the next day took a nap and woke up to Harley trying to snuggle up on me and got up to see only a little over a dozen cookies left. I have been enjoying the snow with the girls but not as much as I probably should be. I am hoping Santa brings me some new slippers for Christmas because it is freezing upstairs. If any one out there would like a big sweet black lab for Christmas I would throw in the big red bow. The girls are very excited which makes me excited too. It is Stella's first Christmas it is always exciting what they do when you put a present in front of children for the first time and they are like, yeah I got a new drum!!! I love the holidays and just being with those I love. It will be interesting to see what Santa will bring this year.

Fitzes November 2010

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Just me

Most of you know that I am a crazy person and have millions of things going on but I feel as though I have regressed lately and spend way too much time avoiding what I actually need to be getting done.  I have not folded laundry for ever or even organized parts of my house that I have been planning on since I went back to work.  I just believe that I am at that point that I have so much on my plate that I simply have given up.  Granted I am getting everything done that is required to be done but also there are things such as I just graded a paper for one of my classes that the students handed in three weeks ago.  Not good.  I think that being the person I am my brain with everything stressing me out has simply shut off.  I try to be a good person and it is very hard for me to say no to people but I feel as though if I don't allow myself to shut down I may quit.  As I am writing this I can feel my thoughts intermingling together; not writing what I should but getting some of my craziness out of my head.  There it is I am crazy and not afraid to admit it.  I think this is why I have constant headaches and the drs cant figure out what is going on with me it is simply because I am losing it:)  At least I have been able to bake when I shut down or blog. Which reminds me maybe I should finish O's stocking that I started when I was pregnant with her.  That would relieve stress.  I am so excited for xmas this year O is starting to understand the whole idea of it which is fun but may not be a good thing.  We will see

Harley

Harley is our black lab.  He turned two on Halloween.  He has nothing physically wrong with him.  He is a very special dog with many very good skills;
1. he can dig large holes in your yard. 
2. He can put thick black hair on all of your furniture
3. he can drag mud into the house that you cleaned on his paws
4. he can get let out of the house to go to the bathroom at night and even while watching him be able to sneak away to dig in whatever the neighbors have in their back yard and be gone just long enough to scare the crap out of you so you think he ran away again. 
5. He also can walk 6 miles away and get into Mercy hospital and run through the halls. 
6. He can jump up on the table and eat your childrens' snacks
7. He can jump up on you with his excitement when you get home and not realize that he weighs 70 lbs and has long sharp nails
8. And lastly if you aren't looking and you thought that the dirty poopy diaper was bad the first time to pick up it is much worse when the dog eats it and rips it to 1000 pieces all over the carpet.  But still we love him but I am not sure why.  He would be a great addition to any home!!!

Hi there

I just realized that it has been awhile since my last post.  I thought I would bring my whole two followers who I talk to on a regular basis up to speed.  The deal right now is the kitchen.  My husband has decided to refurbish the cupboards and they are looking fantastic don't get me wrong, but it is driving me bonkers living with the silverware in a diaper box in the living room.  I think back now to all of the times that I moved during college and after and think I am never moving again.  If I do have to move I am going to have someone come and pack everything up for me on the very last day and then unpack it for me exactly where I want it.  I mean they have to do that right celebrities don't have to pack and unpack and that is what I feel like right now that my kitchen is packed up but I am not moving for a few weeks and have to just search for everything.  At least I can just dig through it and take it out and not have to worry about packing it back up again.  I think the other big struggle with it is L she continues to want to play with the forks and knives.  She is too goofy.  I know in the end the kitchen will look beautiful and my husband will have done a great job I just hate living out of boxes. 

I can't do it anymore

I know that I am not that old but I realize that I can not do it anymore.  Drink that is the way I used to in college.  I used to be able to drink the way that I still do but now I am pretty much out of commission for a few days after.  I went out last night and had a blast something that was totally needed but then got home made myself throw up which then gave me a migraine which I still have today.  What the hell I am not even 30 yet I should still be able to handle my booze:)

How it is

Is it wrong to think that I all the great things in life are over.  I did everything so fast that now I feel as though there is not much to do but just live.  I got married, moved back across the country, had a baby, changed jobs, bought a house all within one year and then the next year I had another baby.  I know it may seem selfish but I was the first to have kids and now my friends are having kids and I am so excited for them I can hardly stand it but as I am watching Stella get older and start doing all of her tricks I can hardly believe that I will never have another baby.  It seems like I am too young to even think this and some days believe me I am glad that I will never have another baby but it is still hard to feel like all of the really great things in life are behind me. 

Not going to do it anymore

Every year I get very excited about my birthday.  I know it is silly after all this time but I always hope that it will be really special for me the way I try and make it special for other people.  I have always had high hopes and enjoy other people birthdays.  In reality it is just another day no different than the one before except some people may say Happy Birthday and that is it.  Every year I get my hopes up that this year is going to be great; something special is going to happen and every year I feel like it just gets worse.  Even as a little kid most of the time my birthday fell on the first day of school that isn't fun.  Nothing has ever even worked out.  I know this sounds like a bitter thing and I want people to feel bad for me but one day a year I would like to feel special and important and not be told that I am a horrible mother or just ignored completely.  One time before I die I will look back and not think well that birthday sucked again.  I have now decided that I still can't help myself I am going to continue to make other people's birthdays great but no longer will I get my hopes up about my own.  I am too busy and it is not worth it.  Love to all of those that did make me feel great on my special day. 

My Morning

To all moms out there and ones that will be soon.  I just want to let you know about my morning and I have only been up for an hour and a half (technically)  My day started with O throwing her sippy cup at me and saying "mommy more milk"  this was two hours ago.  I could not bring myself to open my eyes so O realizing she was fighting a losing battle came and snuggled with me for the next twenty minutes while also poking me in the face and yelling every time a garbage truck went by because she loves them so.  I then got up to sit in the bathroom while she tried to go potty, by this time L was up.  I got both of them new diapers and dressed.  I then plopped them down in front of the tv for cartoons bc I am mom of the year so I could take a shower where I actually shaved my legs.  Continued the morning with nursing L throwing in a load of laundry, picking up after Tim throwing all his underwear all over the floor(don't know why)  teaching O to make her bed, feeding all of the animals and letting Harley out, making coffee, making the girls breakfast and eating it and getting myself ready.  I am now checking the weather and writing this blog and about to clean the kitchen and pack up the girls for a day at the pool.  I am reminding you that this is a normal day and I mean 6 out of 7 days for me and I am really not sure how I am going to fit work into this day of mine.  Off to clean the kitchen and have a cup of coffee which I obviously deserve.   I remember the days where I would have to be at work by 1045 in the morning and I complained about having to get myself up out of bed by 10 am and I thought that was horrible; isn't it funny how life changes!!

Along with everything else

So I have been accepted into grad school at Concordia on a probationary acceptance because I still need to bring all of my stuff in.  I have now the last two days been fretting this fall so much that I have basically shut down but decided to bake. (Well not really bake) I made from scratch Key Lime pie because I know that Tim likes it and he has a big interview tomorrow that I am hoping he gets because we really need this.  So along with everything else going on right now I have decided that I am going to be super mom and get all sorts of new recipes and cook and bake and then freeze for when school starts.  I am following in Keeley's footsteps except for the fact that I don't really have anyone to make things for but my own fam.  Tim and I have been debating about getting another dog to keep Harley company all summer and I would really like to but I think we are going to wait because tonight I brought up the idea that maybe we should put him in obedience classes this fall and see if that helps with him being stupid.  Otherwise Tim and I are seriously considering finding him a new home.  This is something that I would hate because it makes me seem like a failure and I couldn't bring myself to actually get rid of another animal; if any of you know how devastating losing Jake and Jez were you would know that I would maybe not recover from it unless I really felt like there was no other way.  Rambling. . . overall I think the other thing to add to the list is to actually get that dog trained or get rid of him:(

The best friends ever

After a fabulous weekend at the PV I realized that I would not be able to survive with out the family.  It is so odd how people just meet in life and everything just clicks.  Honestly with two children and a not very smart black lab I dont know what I would do without them.  I know that I can laugh and cry and have coon rapids dance party and they still love me.  Also you know that we all have to love each other when our husbands are pulling each others pants down and we just laugh.  I had a great weekend and no wonder bc with friends like mine who wouldn't have a great time!! Still bummed about the tubing though:(

How Many Things Can I do. . . .

After realizing that many people I know are willing to put it all out there in their blogs I now too am writing about myself to share with everyone what is actually going on in my life.  I have only one full week left of summer vacation(the best and main reason for being a teacher)  and all I can think about is what I should do during that time.  I am one of those people that make lists and if you didn't know about this I make a lot of lists.  I plan and plan and plan every thing I do which I hear is a good quality for a teacher to have.  Every Monday morning I make a to do list of all of the things I want and should accomplish during the week.  In reality I usually feel good about it if I get 70% of the items done.  Currently though I am looking at my list and it involves major things like apply for Grad school, fill out the FAFSA to actually pay for grad school.  Find swimming classes for the girls to take this fall.  Find other classes that I can sign the girls up for this fall such as play times etc.  Also create an entire years worth of curriculum for the online school, create a website for my upcoming students and a moodle(this fun word for online assignments)  for students not only in my class but in all core subjects.  Along with this in my head I am planning a weekend of camping at the PV which I am very excited about and thinking about what fun activities the girls and I should do on my last week of vacation.  I am exhausted just looking at this list but I digress. . . overall I am trying to figure out how I am actually going to be this supermom once school starts again. . . it will happen though and if it doesn't at least my kids are too young to really remember:)